[ Wednesday 11th November, 2009 || 4:42 pm] [ music | dashboard confessional - until morning ] here's to you, friends. 1 trust Tyler && become Tyler.

[ Wednesday 4th November, 2009 || 1:12 pm] [ music | godspeed you! black emperor - Static: Terrible Canyons Of Static / Atomic Clock ] my birthday wish is for all my friends to come to polk, and get drunk with me. that's all i want. make it happen. 1 trust Tyler && become Tyler.

[ Saturday 31st October, 2009 || 2:16 pm] [ music | bob dylan - lay lady lay ] "all day, everyday, i think of her and how i want to move foward in time. just take the clock and calendar, and make them think of the future instead of present." what a romantic i was. become Tyler.

[ Friday 30th October, 2009 || 2:41 pm] [ music | at the drive-in - invalid litter dept. ] boy came up to me one day when he was 8 years old and said "Daddy, i wanna race with the real men" and i said "Boy, you ain't even a man yet" and he said "Daddy, you weren't a man yet at one time either." and i said "Boy, at least wait til you're 16 to make this decision you're gonna make." and he said "Daddy, I don't need to wait til im 16, I'm 8 years old and i'm ready to race with the real men." And this is how it went I Boy came up to me and said "Daddy I love you and i want to spend the rest of my life with you" and I said (Daddy's boy) "Boy are you gay?" and he said (Daddy's boy) "Boy, i mean daddy, no, i ain't gay, im just you're son and..i love you, i love you daddy." (Daddy's boy) He was 18 and he was in college, 4 years later he graduated with his masters degree and he called me and he said "Daddy, i wanna know what I do after college" and then he said "Boy, I don't know, i never made it that far." and he said "Daddy, come on help me, i need it." and he and i said "Boy...go get married" and he said "No daddy, I don't think another woman in my life do this." and I said "You're right, I got caught cheating 3 times." and he said "Daddy, I won't ever make the mistakes like you." and I said "Boy, shut up." and he said "Daddy, I'm coming home." and I said "Hell no." He caught the next train over, and now he's here. "Boy, get the Hell out of my house" and he said "No Daddy, i want to stay with you." and I said (Daddy's boy) "No! Get out! now, now!" and he said (Daddy's boy) "No Daddy, I want to stay" (Daddy's boy) "I said no" (Daddy's boy) So I finally gave in and said "Boy, alright you can stay, but you have to pay me rent." and he said "Alright Daddy, anything to live my life with the father I love." and he said "Shut the Hell up." and he said "Daddy, I wanna give you a hug." and I said "Get the Hell away from me." and he said "I love you Daddy." And then, 3 days later, I shot myself. 2 trust Tyler && become Tyler.

[ Thursday 29th October, 2009 || 2:10 pm] [ music | mewithoutyou - the fox, the crow, and the cookie ] im drowning in this shithole. i feel like my head is going to fucking explode. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF HERE. become Tyler.

[ Wednesday 28th October, 2009 || 3:12 pm] [ music | nujabes - feather ] im feel alone. i feel useless. i want my friends back. i want a life. i want a girl i want, i want, i want. i need to quit bitching. all in all i just don't give a fuck about my future, or even myself. im tired of caring about others and getting shit on day by day. i love all of my friends. im starting to see that there are pieces of shit around me. i believe now that lakeland is full of sketchy people. i dont like sketchiness at all. i dont have any courage. 4 trust Tyler && become Tyler.

[ Thursday 22nd October, 2009 || 7:04 pm] [ music | mewithoutyou - silencer ] I tried to love you and I failed i shouldn't be thinking of this, but i couldn't help but remember...today would've been 5 years. 9 trust Tyler && become Tyler.

Dance to the sound of his weight bearing back fucking breaking [ Sunday 18th October, 2009 || 9:12 pm] [ music | circle takes the square - non-objective portrait of karma ] every time i get on here, i always complain about how shitty my life is. i always mention things that i want to do, but probably won't happen mostly because ive become nothing short of a piece of shit in a fucking toilet. i want to be a tattoo artist, a musician, a father, a husband. yet i can't grasp any of the positive qualities of these professions/jobs. im starting to think i suck at everything i do, and this is why i get so intimidated easily. i can only strive to succeed at these goals. im going to draw everyday, i've found someone to mentor me in a couple of months. so i could quite possibly become a tattoo artist in the next year. im going to continue to go to school and take my music classes and learn more about my instrument and possibly start a band. the father/husband part i can wait as long as possible for, im in no hurry for that shit lol. but i am single and willing to cuddle. sorry for complaining all the time. i understand if you don't give a shit. 8 trust Tyler && become Tyler.

[ Wednesday 14th October, 2009 || 10:56 pm] [ music | bob dylan - don't think twice, it's alright ] i kinda want to be a tattoo artist. 2 trust Tyler && become Tyler.

[ Thursday 8th October, 2009 || 3:57 pm] [ music | three 6 mafia - sippin on some syrup ] i wish i was more motivated to do things that would be good for me. instead i do everything wrong. i eat unhealthy, sleep unhealthy, dream unhealthy. im at a point in my life, where things seem to be a routine, and i hate routines. ahh im boring. so. fucking. boring. 1 trust Tyler && become Tyler.

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